|Interview with a caji
|Ye Olde Message Board
|Thee great and famouse deedse of Snogard the Doctor, by Tomlin the Chef
|Drenn Snogard (The True Story)
Interview with a caji
- So, you want to know who I am?
- Where shall I begin?
- Hmm…sit down and get yourself a jug of stomeh and I'll tell you my story.
– People who have met me would describe me as a very merry and nice muadra. They would say that I am very emotional and sometimes so nervous, that my right leg will tremble violently and involuntarily. It has also happened, on some occasions, that I have shed a tear when one of my friends have died, or I have been close to death, or very scared and such things.
– What do I look like? Can't you see that for yourself!!
- Oh! Your vision's impaired. I'm sorry!
– Well, I'm 1.4 metres tall and quite slender. They say that I'm a handsome fellow; I have brown curly hair and big friendly brown eyes. There's still a child in me, and it has also happened that I've been mistaken for a child, but not for some time now. I guess that I might seem haggard and worn after all these years adventuring. But, with my friendly demeanour and my friendly appearance it has never been hard to get new friends.
– The first thing that you would notice about me (if your vision isn't impaired that is) would probably be my lack of a left hand. That was a ramian who came a little too close. I have lived without that hand for quite a while now and have gotten used to it. I'm nearly as a good a climber as I was before I lost the hand, and I have learned how to weave one-handed dyshas.
– Ohh, all this talking gives me a terribly dry throat.
- Shast! Another round of stomeh. It's on me.
- What where we talking about?
- Oh yes! You wanted to know more about me.
– When we are out adventuring, wandering the endless dusty roads or hacking our way through dense hostile jungles, I am always the first to raise my voice in a merry song or doing some mischief or prank, It is always very much appreciated by my weary companions. I'm not only a merry little bugger, but also an excellent scout. Not a sound is heard when I tiptoe on light feet.
- Chiirs, old man!
– You could also call me a collector of sorts. I collect could-come-in-handy-things. If anything is suddenly needed during our travels, its very likely that I'm carrying it around in my cleverly packed backpack. Many a person has wondered how I can fit so many wondrous things in such a small backpack, and how I manage to carry it around. But, it's as I always say, most of the useful and good stuff doesn't weigh much, or take that much space for that matter. It's just a matter of packing it nice and tight. If it's packed well and worth a few gemlinks, it's amazing how far you can carry it.
- So, you find my dialect strange?
– I'm from Burdoth, from the little village of Stuff to be exact. It's a small serene village in the Lusail province, whose main livelihood consists of freshwater creshi from the Lusail River. My parents were poor and I had to work hard during my childhood. I was the village prankster and sometimes I guess, a real pest. The old ladies who sat in the docks gutting creshi all day always sighed when they saw me and said: “Nothing good will come out that Snogard! Believe me. If you've seen one miscreant, you've seen them all” They were very wrong of course.
– I was the first of my friends who learnt how to weave the naull and later the dyshas. When I say my friends, I mean the gang of kids (some would unjustly have called us dytes) who terrorised the countryside with our merry pranks. It was Harper, Saida, Teodor, Rekla and me. We were always together. The Corondon Bunch. I wonder what they're up to these days?
– We stuck together through thick and thin, all the way to the end of that Mullin. It was just after my birthday on the first day of Auss. There was a big birthday party in my honour. I had invited all my friends and had been given all the things that I had wished for. It was a wonderful party. When I think about it, I've only had one birthday party since then. It's quite sad really, that you forget your own birthday when you travel around as much as I do. I wonder if I should have all the birthday parties I've missed now instead? Better late than never. Just think about all the presents I'll get.
– Never mind. Yes, on my birthday that Auss, I got all I could wish for. A journey to Ardoth, to Bolpey Kerning Bay. Finally I would learn how to master the isho. I had to leave early the morning after the party and barely had time to say goodbye to the Corondon Bunch. Since that day my feet have only brought me back to Stuff once. That time it was to bury my parents that had been murdered by the assassin Hekra Delamon of Haisvana. All because of me. Now, I'm the only one left of my family. Only little me in this big, big world.
- [ Sobh! ] I'm sorry! I get so emotional when I think about Stuff and my parents. May their isho forever bind them together. Chiirs!
– Anyway! I travelled to Ardoth after my birthday. There I was, alone in the big city, knocking on the great doors of the kerning bay. I was eventually accepted by a copra caji, made his apprentice and learnt the Way of Gends fast. I saw rare dyshas be woven by sholaris, kerned into the famous Nam-An-Atra stone, witnessed dysha duels between a fallen apprentice and his master, and many other wondrous things during my time at the Kerning Bay. Especially the dyshas of Launtra that heal the body and mind were easy for me to weave and that was where I earned my nickname “The Doctor”. It was in Bolpey Kerning Bay that I met my first true love. Illinor Shard came from a rich maudra family, who owned the Thirka Kerning Bay in Ardoth. She was as beautiful as she was kind and we went to the same lectures and weavewatches at Bolpey Kerning Bay. But our love was not meant to be. Her destiny was to take over the Thirka Kerning Bay and mine was to travel the great world. She is still my very good friend and the Dharcopra Caji of Thirka Kerning Bay.
– I eventually became a caji, but continued to study the isho at Bolpey Kerning Bay. At that time my links started to avoid me and I had to take a brake from my studies. I worked for a while for a bronth learsis called Hoowdah, but soon realised that I wouldn't earn any serious gemstars at the enclep. Therefore I signed up for an expedition as a field learsis. They promised me fame and fortune if the expedition was a success. They promised me a share of the profit. Yes, yes, I was a little bit naïve in those days. Ok, I will admit that I might still be a little naïve. There never was a profit to speak of really, but I gained the best friends one can imagine. They were ready to sacrifice their lives for me. It was Khaine, Killemanjaro, Drenn Fred, Igari and Mojjk.
– What a gang we were. Only Khaine is still alive today I think. He retired to Ardoth while he still had most of his limbs left. The last time I saw him he got accused of being a shissic for fraternising with our friend Lukaz. He left for the Cryshell Palace to clear up the whole misunderstanding, and that's the last I saw of him. Killemanjaro died in a shantic ruin, slain by SIX croids. Unfortunately, I didn't make it to him in time to save him. Poor Killemanjaro! He was one of the greatest condrij I have ever known. Well, his cousin Lukaz, who's just as big, isn't such a bad condrij either. It's as I always say, it's important to have a big and strong condrij around, who can entertain the enemy while you weave your dyshas. Many friends have come and gone during my travels, and the friends I travel with now are very dear to me. They have saved my life many times and I will do nearly anything to save them if they were in trouble.
-Shast! Could we get a bottle of Erucian wine, please. Make that with some deep fried durlig spiced with lunnica and torondi grass.
– Yes, I would do nearly anything to save them if they were in trouble. I wouldn't wrestle a corondon for them of course, but pretty close. Some would call me a coward, but I prefer the term cautious. I will stay away from a melee or otherwise engaging anything larger than myself hand to hand (which practically includes everything). The mistakes of my youth have cost me a hand and I don't want to loose another one.
- If I've seen the world?
–Well, I'm pretty well travelled, my friend.
– My travels have taken me from one end of Jorune to the other. I have made many friends in many places. I great deal of foes also, come to think of it. Even the Dharsage has turned his back on me, after all that I have done for Burdoth. But, its not his fault, as there is a traitor, a member of the Berella, who works against us in the Cryshell Palace. Despite this temporary setback, I look forward to the day I will be pardoned and made drenn. Burdoth is my homeland and I long for it.
– Yes, you heard correctly. As soon as I am held in favour in Ardoth again, I'm going to be a drenn. I should have passed the drenn test ages ago, but my travels have been long and crooked, so I haven't had the time. Take a close look at my challisk why don't you? It's absolutely full of copras.
– I have during my adventures noticed that it is never wrong to have an alias or two. If everything goes to Desti, it's not me, Snogard, who's to blame. You might have heard about my other aliases without knowing it was I? Captain Tallin of the Sharharras Sea, Tomlin the Chef etc?
– No? You haven't heard about them before? Good! Then I can still use them.
- Pardon, what did you say? If I ever get tired of life on the road?
– Well, yes, I was tired of that kind of life at one point. After a few years of adventuring I became an apprentice under Sholari Anasha Copra-Tra. He was a great Ca-Tra sholari from the shantic Sho-Ecta temple outside Ardoth. By warp, he took me to the great and ancient Ca-Tra cities of Lundere to marvel at their wonders. He taught me how to fully master the isho, to such a degree that I today can call myself a Dharcopra Caji. Not just any caji mind you, but a nimble DHARCOPRA CAJI. While staying with Sholari Anasha Copra-Tra I learnt much about the shanta and their Way of Life.
– Can you keep a secret? It was I who was the notorious Dharsage Silver Diyorda “The Vodra” in Ardoth. It was my burning passion and need to collect Dharsage Silver that created the gentleman-githerin “The Vodra”. I rallied many of the poor muadra of the city around me. I gave them shelter and food and they gave me their loyalty, despite never having seen my face. I didn't want to risk my career as a drenn, you see. After a while I tired of that life as well, and luckily my old friends returned from foreign lands. I left the whole enterprise to my right hand man and took to the roads again. However, as soon as I had left the city, he betrayed me, the sly dichandra. When I needed his help the most, he betrayed me. You see, I was wrongly imprisoned in Prison Mountain in Ros Crendor for a whole year, and he refused to pay my ransom.
– Yes, I have seen great parts of Jorune. From Haisvana the Lost World, to Jasp have I travelled. I have been in Voligire, in the steaming jungles of Drail and, well, literally everywhere. Sometimes we've been forced to hurl ourselves through warps and then you're not really sure where you end up. In this way I have travelled the Cashiln Tunnels, seen the lost city of Meg-Aleisha and been to Thonondra, where I snuck up on the Ca-Desti. Well, the Ca-Desti don't really favour me. I would actually say that they want me dead and have spread my copra throughout the sho-sen for others to recognise. The Ca-Desti are wicked. This is especially true now that the Red Shanta has been awakened. He is agitating the shanta against humanity. This must be stopped. There mustn't be another great war between shantas and humans on Jorune. I will do everything in my power to prevent it.
Recorded at the Screaming Tarro, Kirlan Auss 12, 3502 PC
Ye Olde Message Board
Need to get rid of youre hot crystals or Dharsage Silver fast?
Contact S. Nogard, authorisede dealer in exotic but second-hand goodse, Tumbernaw Lane, Dryce for goode prices and discreet deals.
Have you seen this shissic?
Wanted dead or alive. Reward 20 gemlinks.
Mr Corondon of Ardoth.
Usurping the great Vodra is a dangerous matter. You would be wise to look over your shoulder and keep your deflector dyshas woven.
Rough villain from Kask sought for murder of semi-innocent guard.
Eye witness claims "The eyes of the devil, he laughed as he fried the poor man with blue isho lightning from his hands"
Snogard is nothing more than Dragons backwards! Has he borrowed his new title as well as his name?!
Anonymous Freedom-loving citizen
Thee great and famouse deedse of Snogard the Doctor
By Tomlin the Chef
During my travels, I have never met a more heroic, unselfish, humble and brave man than Snogard the Doctor of Stuff. Here is humble list of hees greater deedse:
- Being born
- Heroically saving the brilliant, but mad Dayvid Terra from the clutches of the vile Coronian lords - and loosing most of his intestines in the process. Only a heroic escape in a warp could save the day (and his life)
- Bravely counterstriking a ramian two-hand hardstone sword with a muadra shortsword - and loosing his arm in the process.
- Decorated with a rinis for helping Burdoth halt the the ramian invasion of Lusail.
Snogards Curriculum Vitae
| Name :
| Snogard (A.k.a Tomlin the Chef, The Vodra, The Doctor
Roaming address. Sometimes Ramov Dharlerrin, Salam'arine, Gauss.
Independent tradesman and Expert Treasure Seeker.
I'm a happy and likeable fellow who finds it easy to socialise with people and meet new friends. I'm flexible and am not afraid of digging into things that need to be done. I have no left hand, a work related injury that happened during the time I was self-employed at my own firm Snogard Inc. I was on sick leave for a while, but soon started my work-rehabilitation training. The training immediately gave results and I'm now fully capable of working full hours. I have directed Snogard Inc for 9 years now and have made it a very successful company with the odd gemstar hidden away in my back pocket. During a crash in the market I froze the assets of Snogard Inc. and started the lucrative Vodra Enterprises, a company that specialised in “active” trading in unusual goods. The company was a success, but when the market recovered, I chose to leave the leadership of the company to my Vice Managing Director and continue to run Snogard Inc.
My education is:
3 ½ terms at Bolpey Kerning Bay in Ardoth .
½ a term voluntary work with Hoowdah, a bronth learsis of Ardoth .
2 terms of hard study under Sholari Anasha copra-Tra .
9 years of the hard school of life, constantly out adventuring .
1 terms education at sthe “Redcape University”. (No references available, as this is classified. Very husch, husch.)
½ a terms education at the secret “White Legion University” (Also no references) .
1 months education in Obiss, Ros Crendor, specialising on lamorri lore.
Merits and appraisals:
Hero of Burdoth , I stopped a ramian invasion of the realm.
Elevated to Citizen of Ros Crendor , medium kree given.
Friend of Jasp , saved a crystal schooner. Respect from the Council of Servants in Aylon.
Amulets of Gratitude from Ca-Tra
Amulets of Gratitude from Ca-Du, for great bravery while fighting the lamorri.
I am a DharCopra Caji , specialising in Tra, Launtra and Gobey
Possessor of the DharKlade Eye
…have travelled most of Jorune.
…have contacts and friends all over Jorune.
…am good at weaving dyshas in other colours than those mentioned above.
…am an accurate marksman. My dyshas always hit their targets.
…am a superb field learsis.
…cook great food.
…can swim, reasonably well.
…am expected to complete my training as Drenn.
…know Ardoth better than my own pocket.
…talk 6 languages: Entren, Shantic, Fransei, Cruuhd, Thowtis and Than.
If you wish to know anything more about me, you can talk to, or send a messenger thyrin to:
Dharcopra Illinor Shard of Thirka Kerning Bay, Ardoth.
Caji Jagat , Ardoth
Iscin Junathan Kellin Dharsage Silver expert at Yetharca Institute, Ardoth.
Cladesman Quiet Konrad of the Githerin Klade, Ardoth.
Antonus Farad , Red Cape of Ardoth
Anasha Copra-Tra – Ca-Tra sholari of Sho-Ecta temple outside Ardoth.
The Beagre Kesht of Lower Manser, Ardoth (and his associate the Swordbearer Charlie?)
Simon the Smuggler of Sychill, works odd times, much nightshift work.
Shast Hanry Ajuss of Salam'arine.
Githerin Nero of the Shadowlands, York, only nighttimes.
Caji Nebbon , leader of the Shal Legion of Kithaq, Sillipus.
Syrela Marad-Shee , leader of the rebels in Drailoth (Burdothian colonies in Drail), hard to find. She'll find you.
Drenn Snogard – the true story (as told in legends)
So, now I'm a drenn!
The Dharsage summoned his faithful just before he died. There was I, Snogard "The Doctor", alas incapable of saving the great Dharsage's life. Others had also been summoned, but only me and Pjire, his two faithful subjects had answered his call and come to the Shendarri Skyrealm. Amongst Burdoth most secret of secrets, amongst the most legendary Dharsage Silver, the great leader whispered his last, dying words to his two faithful subjects - Snogard and Pjire -
"Believe in the dream, fight for Burdoth!
The Dharsage's gift to those faithful to him and Burdoth: immediate Drennship!
Drenn Snogard, eh! Not bad for a one-handed muadra from Stuff.
There was a ceremony in the Cryshell Palace where the faithful tauther where appointed Drenns and Drenns were appointed Keshts.
Now we only need the city to calm down and catch the insidious conspirators behind all this mess.
We have to catch the Berella!